Dear Cattle, I Won. Heels and all.

March 29, 2017  •  1 Comment

"Bobby Pins were a flying..." 

Good morning, it seems we've all been there at one time or another. You know what I'm talking about, Ladies? The fact you haven't went to "town" in  a while so you take this blissful opportunity to put a little extra effort into how you look. Now you may just need to run a few errands, or you may be on your way home from church, but whatever the occasion you decide to treat yourself with a little extra pampering time before you leave the house. This also translates to the day the cattle got out.

So here you are feeling all beautified, curls a bouncing, lashes long, that pretty new lipstick you picked up months ago on, and those new heels you're finally getting to wear because for once you won't have to be out feeding livestock. You're driving along singing to the radio, you've got those fly sunglasses on, and you are feeling great! Enjoy this moment. It only last a second when you own livestock.

You feel like you could conquer the world in those heels, you've had a great day in town, but you're ready to be home. That is until you turn on your road and you see a gate that has been left open, and cattle are scattered on that country road like glitter. Not just any glitter, that really fine kind of glitter that goes everywhere if there's an ounce of wind. That kind of glitter. 

Now at this moment you have two choices. 1) You could run to the house to change your clothes, or 2) If you're like me you know those cattle can move pretty fast, so you fly out of the pickup and try to get them started back to the pens. 

So here I am out here like wonder woman, gathering up bovine in a set of 3" pumps. This road just became my runway as I'm trying to push these youngin's back towards the house. All is going well. I've got this. If the fashion runway could only see me now. Hair blowing in the breeze, and I'm owning that road. My lipstick is still freshly applied, and these cattle are moooooooving on out. That is until, my dad sees these glitter cows, and comes to help out. 

I shouldn't of spoke too soon. He starts hollering at me, because apparently I was doing this incorrectly. "Laine, get over there, don't lose them,  and block the other gate so they don't head towards the highway"  He doesn't blink an eye, and never notices I'm kinda in decent clothes, and in heels to top it off. It was literally 5 seconds after this "nice" warning my father shouted that they decided to scatter like cats. I mean those tails flew up over their backs, that fresh green grass kicked in, and they scattered. 

If you've ever worked cattle with family, or a spouse you know that you can never weaken. You will get a cussin, you have to have thick skin, and you can never complain. But, I was still in heels. So once again, I faced my options. 1) Run towards that gate in those heels looking like a newborn calf that just learned how to walk, or 2) get rid of those puppies and fly over there barefoot? Those heels went a flying. I was bolting towards that gate barefoot. Bobby Pins couldn't fly out of my hair fast enough, who knows what that lipstick looked like as I'm sure it was smeared across my face by now, and don't even mention the decent outfit I had on, as it is now covered in flying manure. 

So here I am standing there blocking a gate. Barefoot. HAIR A CRAZY SIGHT. and covered in manure, and mud head to toe...literally. Those heels? They're now in the dumpster. That outfit? It's right next to the heels. 

I've learned through multiple of these experiences that cattle like to curse a woman when she goes to town. They always pick the exact right time to run a marathon. As for me? I haven't wore heels in a while, they make hoping fences to take pictures of windmills a little difficult :)) 

Dear Cows, I Won. Heels and all. 

 

Hope you had a little giggle, and can relate! 

xoxox

Lainey

 

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